jump to contentmy subredditswhat’s this?TROPHY CASE(1 more)So I logged in just to reply to you because I was in your spot except we were about 2 hours away. It felt like we were across country most of the time since I had to work 3 jobs to put myself through school. We were head over heals in love, we literally talked about everything. He was my first boyfriend and I was his 2nd serious girlfriend. Our families were not entirely supportive because we were of different race/religion. I would say aside from the distance, that was the biggest problem.
We got married 3 years ago after being together almost 10 years. Everyone is happy for us and we did what we needed to do to make it work without holding each other back. I experienced a lot of college life and he was more of a self induced hermit. He hung out with my friends a bit too but we never pressured each other to do something we didn want. We did fight, when family gets in the way, it happens. But the important thing was we didn place blame on each other and we didn hold any resentment. We never went to bed angry with the other person. This whole method has actually made married life pretty darn easy. We disagree but we figured out ways to talk and see eye to eye.
A lot of words, I know. I just felt the need to share my story to let you know it is possible. We heard A LOT of doubt in our dating time. But it was never a big thing for either one of us. We were happy and I was not going to end a relationship I loved just to make someone else outside of it happy for that small moment.
I am happy for you and I wish you the best.
Absolutely! It never hurts to gain perspective from different sources and to hear what people think is fair.
I have asked numerous associates and friends in the field what they think and it actually really interesting. A good majority agree with my experiences with the unfairness but then there is a good group that don see it at all. And its mostly because they don work with women or know of anyone that has had to deal with this besides me (as I am their only female engineering friend). I do have a friend that thinks we get paid what we deserve because "we get pregnant and stuff" so we don work as much as men do. This has had a huge strain on our friendship as everyone knows the hours I put and the work that I do. On top of it all, I would think everyone would want equal time off, man or woman, for the birth/adoption of a child. But I guess to some, we will always be physically inferior in their mind so why not financially and professionally.
I haven replied to Reddit in MONTHS but I felt the need to login and give you my experience.
I am a Mechanical Engineer and have a lot of experience in different companies and have done a few internships myself (10 years in the business now).
My starting salary was higher than all my male classmates (that I knew of) as well as my fellow interns. However, it ends there. Once you are in the field, the raises are low or non existent and the men do get privilege. You can get promoted because they only care about keeping the female presence but that says nothing to what they will actually pay you. I have lower level technicians that get paid more than I do.