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What is this wall behind which people hide and withhold? It is wall of doubt,
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Self esteem can play a big role as well. Most people struggle internally with dialogue that consistently questions how they are doing and if they are good enough. These thoughts, coupled with staff and managers who don’t validate the person experience, perspective, ideas, or desires,
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Dr. His work earned him a nomination for the Nobel Prize in 1972 in the field of economics. Specifically, he was able to measure how this wall,
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After a person is hired,
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What is empathy and what makes it so powerful,
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Empathy is created when you connect at the heart level. People need to feel that you care about them as a person before they are willing to let you peek behind the wall. So the first step is to leave your agenda, judgment, and ego at the door before entering. In other words, let down your own wall and be fully present with them without needing to impress or pretend. Otherwise, they will feel your wall and continue to hold back. Create a safe space for the person to be themselves. It important that you become very self aware and self observant. In these moments even if you don say anything judgmental,
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There are simple steps to follow to become more empathetic. The hardest part is staying in their space without needing to fix,
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When you think you have a sense of it,
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Empathy takes practice. But when you are able to step into their world and they know that you understand them, they feel validated as a human being. They feel that it okay to be them, to feel whatever they may be feeling. It is this validation for their own humanity that unlocks the human spirit from the bondage of the wall of doubt and resistance.
With your next conversation, try empathy. Pay attention to your intrusive thoughts that have you wanting to interrupt or finish their sentence for them. Pay attention to the thoughts that start judging them or telling you that you know the best answer for their situation. Pay attention to the thoughts and then refocus on the individual and their needs. Ask questions without assuming any answers. And just be present to the gift when you are able to see the person come alive from behind the wall. If you really want to transform your organization one person at a time or your family start with yourself. Master the art of empathy and connect with people at a deeper level. And as more of your conversations focus on validating others, you start to see more people come alive from behind their walls.