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I came home to my apartment one day after class. As usual, I changed into a T shirt and slipped out of my pants, tying a lavalava around my waist. A lavalava is a brightly colored,
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Hey Pablo! Donaldo responded, likewise referring to his nickname for me. I saw him glance at the colorful flash of cloth around my waist. Donaldo was somewhat new to the concept of a lavalava.

But what was stranger to Donaldo was my thick plastic retainer that I usually wore only while sleeping. And with it in my mouth acting like a loose plug, it was extremely difficult to talk coherently. It piqued Donaldo’s interest as we exchanged a bit of small talk. Small talk was challenging for me as I sought to find different ways to place my tongue while forming words.

So do you like wearing that?

Sure I do! I enthusiastically garbled,
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Donaldo walked to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat while I settled down on the couch for a little reading,
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Is it comfortable? Don suspiciously asked,
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Of course it’s comfortable! I mangled a response,
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And you wear it at night,
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Yes,
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That sounded a little odd to Donaldo. Does Paul sometimes wake up with the retainer patiently waiting on the pillow, to be plopped back in his mouth? Don waited for his burrito to finish cooking in the microwave. Then he probed further.

Do you have to clean it much?

Yeah, it gets dirty every now and then.

Dirty every now and then? Uck! If Donaldo had to wear a retainer every night, he would have been sure to religiously and thoroughly clean it on a regular basis.

How long have you had it,
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Oh, about five years. Do you like it? I asked, starting to feel a little flattered. I can’t say that a lot of people found a lavalava to be the most chic apparel for a straight guy,
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I stood up and walked into the kitchen to sense if he was willing to be converted to wearing a lavalava. I sat down across Don at the dinner table. Maybe I have a spare one you can have if you’d like, I volunteered,
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So why do you like wearing it? Don asked,
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Oh,
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So you open your mouth when the wind blows? Donaldo asked starting to feel genuinely confused.

I chuckled at the ridiculousness of his question. I mean, why would you open your mouth when the wind blows through your lavalava?

Well I suppose I might want to open my mouth to laugh if it were ticklish, I joked.

Ticklish? Don started to feel like maybe he had underestimated the uplifting experience of wearing a retainer.